1. The raw data. By the numbers, who was the best ever in any given statistical category?
2. Intangibles. Was the ability displayed on the field even able to be measured in numbers? What made this player standout besides the stats.
3. The source. Is the person claiming a player is the “greatest” affiliated to the player in some way? Basically, are they a fan of that player’s team?

When analyzing these three categories, you would hope they are all weighted and took into consideration amongst debaters. Unfortunately, when amongst friends, in informal settings, the only area of concern is the source. Anytime you throw out a players name in a discussion your friends will recognize that the player is on your team’s roster (or former roster) and immediately mock and harass you for being a homer. You are nothing more than a big fan (now the picture makes sense…kind of).

“They have the best winning percentage ever guys!”

“What team again? Lakers? Get out of here with that! ‘Oh I love the Lakers’…nice purple colors Lady Tron.”

Owned.

It doesn’t have to make sense when in friend rebuttal form, it just has to mock you and belittle you as a person in some way. That’s what friends do. Your claims may be sound, backed up with data, and clear to most paid analysts on ESPN, but to your friends, you are nothing but a home team lemming.

Fan Up for Your Team

There is only one solution to the problem of friend discrediting: kill your friends. After you get out of prison on good behavior and extra help in the library where you find books which guide you to the practices of piece and Muhammad, you can also try faking your team allegiance. This can be quite difficult and at times, extremely painful; but if pulled off correctly, faking your fandom can be very rewarding.

The key step to faking your fan allegiance is finding the right time to make the conversion. Going off to college is often used for education, but for a true fan, this time is used to convert the seeds of jerseys and website bookmarks to grow your fake fandom. If you go into a new group of friends displaying a different team allegiance your future arguments for a player on another team look quite strong.

“I have to say, for as long as I have known Lamarcus he has been a die hard Pittsburgh fan. For him to say Otto Graham and Jim Brown are the greatest ever says a lot. I believe him.” (Actual recreated response…maybe.)

Only a true fan can root for the rival team for years on end just to make their point stand up in an arena of their peers.

Co-workers have done a double take a couple of times. It is kind of funny. I will start talking to someone and they are just checking out my calender and thinking “This guy’s a creep: checking out half naked comic chicks.”

After a day of looking at this, along with many office walker-byers, I decided to make Ms. Marvel a nice poodle skirt.

It’s true. American Idol is a huge hit every season. It has been running the same way since it started, and has only changed a few faces at the judges table. Ok ok. Before I go any further I will comfort you, the reader, and let you know: this is not a post critiquing or reviewing anything that has recently happened on American Idol. Rather, this is a post suggesting a way to make American Idol not just a hit, but cool as well.

I think American Idol should have:

• An all celebrity American Idol. Not just regular celebrities, either. They should all be singers or former singers from popular bands.
• An American Idol where a couple music industry celebrities are mixed in with the competitors.

Battle of the Band’s…lead singer.

In an all celebrity American Idol we would see former and established musical stars compete to find out who is the favorite or best. The voting should be a mixture of both viewer voting and the judges. This would cancel out the possibility of the younger artists when based on current popularity. Basically we turn American Idol into America. The viewers are the House of Representatives, which no one really respects, and the judges are like the Senate: more established and recognized as important.

The most important part are the celebrities singers. I don’t care who is thrown in the mix. Saline Dion, Harry Conick Jr., one of the Boys to Men guys. I don’t care. I just want three specific singers in the mix.

1. Spike Lawson of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. The band plays nothing but covers! They will make you love old classics once again. Granted everything is fast and often has a punk beat, but if you don’t mind some classic song played fast and loud, you will love Spike Lawson and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes.

2. Rivers Cuomo of Weezer. He has the geek-chic thing going on which America loves and he can belt out notes with the best of them. If you need an “ohhhhh” in the middle of a song, he’s your man.

3. Matt Pryor of The Get Up Kids. My all time favorite singer, Pryor has the ability to hit a note, sing it load and long, and make it his own. His voice has a bit of a raspy sound to it which gives it just the right amount of distinction. Different yet recognizably amazing.

   
   
   

The bottom line is American Idol needs a makeover. Just because a person can sing does not make them entertaining. We need people we can connect to because we already know them. We need some Celebrity Idol.

No person would argue that coloring is the number one reason a book sells. The actual story and text is the most driving part of the book followed by the illustrations. Coloring is more like lettering. Lettering, presents the text on any given frame or page. The font can have it’s own presence which conveys a tone, type of voice or way a phrase is said. The lettering can give a character’s voice emphasis. Coloring is to art as lettering is to the text.

The colorist helps the story teller set the scene. Maybe the characters in play are mysterious and evil…a colorist may use darker shades. Or in the case of Stumptown, a P.I. crime  drama, Lee Loughridge’s coloring is very simple. Loughridge uses a limited pallet with dull coloring. It ads to the murky world of mystery Stumptown tries to convey. Plus, the coloring doesn’t take any attention away from the driving force of the book, which is the plot.

Other books need bright bold colors. A big action packed caped character story needs bursting colors and tones to take the characters right off the page. Laura Martin of Astonishing X-Men and Secret Invasion fame is a superior colorist who know when to accent action with strong coloring and mellow down the page with less dominant shades in more intimate moments.

Recognizing coloring achievement can be difficult. If a comic book is down well, you may not even notice. At times all you see are colors that liven your eyes. Next time you pick up a book take a look at who colored it and maybe even give them a shout out on a review post from time to time.

When I was young there were many things I enjoyed. I loved to play Nintendo, catch fireflys, watch cartoons, go to United Skates of America and play with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys.

The early Ninja Turtle toys were amazing. The original four turtle figures all came with a grimace, brownish colored weapons, and hours of entertainment. I remember having a few of the turtles, if not all of them, and papa Gazzuolo randomly buying me Leonardo: my favorite ninja turtle. He had katana blades! Swords to you losers.

Their weapons would bend over time (cheap plastic) and their paint would wear on their bodies. At the time no one cared about lead based paint. Back in the day, we licked our toys and didn’t complain when we died.

While I did cherish those early turtle toys, it wasn’t until the introduction of the turtle vehicles that I first understood what a man’s parts were for.

Ninja Turtle Vehicle Invasion

My first vehicle was the Psycho Cycle. This was the motorcycle with the side trashcan seat/stand that could be propelled by a rip-cord. You pulled the cord through the cycle and it spun those wheels (line in a ninja turtle movie song – movie 1) so that the cycle would zip along the floor. It was totally radical and a good start.

The next vehicle I received is possibly the greatest toy in the history of toys. I am not overstating the importance of this toy. If this fact is denied the government finds you and murders you. Fact. The vehicle (all together now): The Turtle Pizza Thrower! Electronic and humming, this ground vehicle which was almost tank like, sat a turtle to shoot pizza pies at his enemies. With a push of a button the vehicle shot out the pizzas fast and far. The projection of the pizza was quite amazing. I heard that NASA has actually studied it for future shuttle use.

The projectile pizzas would not only be used to attack foot-soldiers and other baddies, but was also perfect for attacking your friends and family. “Hey Dom, can you clean your roo…” Bam! Pizza to the eye! Think again Mom…and wear some goggles the next time you come at me with that shit. I had a foul mouth as a kid.

Th last turtle vehicle I received was the punching action turtle plane or helicopter (I can’t remember). This was the last of the ninja turtle vehicles I ever received. I was given it at a birthday party I had at the Untied Skates of America in Ohio. It had a gun-like trigger in the back to hold the vehicle and to make two punching glove weapons on it’s side…well, punch. It was cool for a while. If you were playing with your friends, and didn’t get to pick the pizza thrower, it was a nice alternative vehicle to choose as your primary attack vehicle.

Future impressive toys I eventually got a hold of included the Exo-Squad projectile firing toys. Something about being able to shoot something out of a toy just really got me going. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t turn into a gun crazy psycho…yet.