When you enter a grocery store there is often a solicitor. It’s either a group of girl scouts, during the holidays a Santa or charity rep, or just a standard bum. On the way in they just say hello and give you a smile. A regular to the store knows they don’t care about you. All they want is your money. To get it they try setting you up with some connection. Like a sales person in any other field they try to lower your guard early to eventually get what they want in the end: your money.

On the way out of the store you are left with that awkward interaction where you try and avoid eye contact, but they still address you. Often we respond with a mumble or a “sorry.” I have decided to compile a list of ways to deal with this awkward avoidance, so that we are prepared to deal with these scavenging solicitors.

• Actually give them your change.
• Say “sorry” and move along.
• Act like you are on a very intense cellphone call. “No! Tell them to cut the blue wire or we’re all dead!”
• Sneaking out behind someone else. Try hiding behind someone who looks like a giver: a happy old lady works well, but remember…old people are slow try to time your escape accordingly.
• Leave the cart in the store and carry all of your bags. This can be tough, and should be. With both hands full, and your body in a quick shuffle to hurry to the car so you can release the bags, the solicitor will often disregard addressing you. You have no hands to fish-out change and look too busy to bother.
• Bring a gun and shoot the solicitor on the way out.

Whatever you do to get out of the awkward situation, I hope it works. If there is one thing that’s true in this universe, it’s that helping other people can be freak’n annoying.